Pastiche

In the past week or so I’ve really watched a lot of movies — probably more than I did all semester.  So, in an attempt to keep track of the movies a list (and short reviews).

• Beowulf: okay.
• 30 Days of Night: creeped me out
• Made of Honor:so cute, so good!
• Connie and Carla: this movie cracks me up and always makes me happy
• Hoodwinked: surprisingly good
• P.S. I Love You: horribly sad
• The Truth About Cats and Dogs: really good
• 27 Dresses: surprisingly good
• Juno: it was really good
• Superbad: not as good as I had expected

Movies still on my list:

• American Dreamz
• Dan in Real Life

Over the past few days my internet has been giving me problems.  I think my router was objecting to the mess that my office had become over the last few weeks of the semester.  In order to appease the router I cleaned, but my connection still hasn’t been great.  I called the cable company Thursday and made an appointment for Friday but of course everything started working okay — until I canceled the appointment that is.  When I called to canceled the service appointment the woman and I joked that as soon as I did so I would probably lose my signal — which I did (though it wasn’t as instantaneous as I had figured).  So far I just need to wait out the problem and it resolves itself.  This is a good thing.

Aside from dealing with not having a solid internet connection, I have almost finished cleaning the office (there are some minor organization issues), watched more movies (including P.S. I Love You which was horribly sad! So much so that I wouldn’t recommend watching it), watched the first half of the first season of 30 Rock, and have either physically retrieved or requested most of the books I need for prelims.

My last few posts seemed to focused so much on what I was doing and/or what I needed to be doing that I figure this post should about what I’m choosing to do now that it’s officially “summer.”  Since last Thursday when the semester officially ended I have:

• Gone to visit my family.  My mom’s birthday was last Friday so I went home Thursday night and stayed until Sunday.  My mom went to her fiance’s for the weekend but my twin sister and I stayed at mom’s and we had lots of fun.  We went shopping, watched movies and TV, played with all the dogs (my two dogs, my sister’s dog, and my mom’s dog), we visited with my grandma and our little brother and sister (who were staying with grandma and grandpa), and got to spend time with our cousin.
• Watched several of movies including Beowulf which wasn’t great, 30 Days of Night which freaked me out even though it wasn’t great, and Made of Honor which was very cute.
• Rented even more movies.  Some of them I had to return without watching, but I got a new set today and have movies planned for tonight.
• Had people over.
• Slept in.
• Read for pleasure.  I’ll be transitioning to prelim reading starting in the next few days so I am trying to let myself read for pleasure right now.
• Ordered a new cell phone battery.  I can talk for just under 8 minutes now on my phone because the battery dies.  This is a pain, especially since the phone beeps once to tell me the batter is low and then shuts off mid-conversation.
• Gone to one dissertation defense.  It was a good experience.
• Started organizing my clothes.  Will finish that tonight hopefully so tomorrow can be an office organization day (or office organization day 1).
• Worked on 2 proposals.  I finished one and am trying to get another finished.  In fact, 75% of today, if not more, has been spent writing.

I’m looking forward to more reading, more movies, and more sleeping for the rest of the week.  I start my summer gig on Tuesday so I’m trying to get the house in order, my summer plans in order, and some more relaxing.  It rained a lot today which made me want to read on the couch all day but the fact that I wrote most of today makes me feel pretty good.  That means tomorrow, which is supposed to be another rainy day, can be spent reading, cleaning, or knitting.  I love summer!

I’m not sure what’s worse: getting sick at the start of a semester, in the middle of a semester, or at the very end.  Sure, I have all my work done so the cold is just a nuisance rather than a real problem, and I have time to recover from this spring cold, but starting my summer sick isn’t fun.

The semester is finally wrapping up.  Just two things due tomorrow.  I have to turn in one paper — which I finished yesterday–, and I have to give a presentation on that paper.  I’m working on the Power Point and notes for the presentation now and plan to be done by 9.  Even if I’m not done by 9 I am going to be done for the night.  I’m getting a cold and don’t have the energy to stay up late, especially since I’ll have time to finish up tomorrow. This time tomorrow, however, I will be done with my official course work not only for the semester but forever.  Sure, I have 2 years left of prelims and dissertation-writing, but the fact that I don’t have to take any more classes seems crazy.  I have been in school and taking classes since I was 4.  How is it possible that I’ve completed all my courses?  While I’m happy to be finishing up with classes, I doubt whether I’m “ready” to be at this point.  Am I really going to be studying for prelims this summer?

My horoscope today seems quite fitting:

Virgo: Change is inevitable in your life, but it is not always welcome. A new job, a new home, a new relationship or even just a new shiny gadget will affect your life in a much more complicated way than you were expecting. It is essential that you don’t overreact to any discomfort you are feeling about this transition. Give yourself time to get used to things, and do not jump to the conclusion that you have made a huge mistake. There is no going back — the only way is forward.

And for another installment of What I am Doing v. What I Should be Doing:

What I am doing:

• Blogging.  I have blogged just about 20 times this semester.  Then, out of the blue, two blogs in one day!
• Reading and responding to old emails.
• Thinking I should probably borrow an egg timer from my grandma.  I have used this method before with grading and the funny thing is that I actually did borrow the timer from my grandma.  It’s not unusual to walk into her house and hear a timer going off.  She usually has three or four set at a time (for when something comes out of the oven, when the laundry needs switched over, when one of my little siblings needs dropped off/picked up from school, etc.)
• Pricing new vacuum cleaners.
• Downloading music.  I have recently started purchasing music over iTunes.  Recent purchases include MGMT’s “Time to Pretend” and Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Possess Your Heart.”  Am downloading NIN’s new song, “Discipline,” right now because they’re offering it free on their website.  This is an interesting trend of musicians.

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I am tired — really, really tired. I have been sleep deprived for several weeks now. It’s common for me to suffer from exhaustion at the end of a semester. What isn’t normal — or at least what I don’t recall as being normal — is insomnia.

I do not typically have a problem falling asleep when I head to bed. In fact, I’m one of those people that feels like I’ll never fall asleep if I lay in bed for 5 minutes before falling into a deep sleep. For the past year or so — okay, more like a few weeks tops, but it feels like a year — I have been falling asleep and then waking up an hour later wide awake. My brain is turned back on, my body feels exhausted, but I’m not able to sleep. And even though it’s only been a few weeks, it feels like forever. The whole stupid mess makes me feel like I will never get an entire night’s sleep again. This is horribly annoying, makes me extremely tired the next day, and really is not conducive to getting up at 6 am.

Although it wasn’t an every night event at first, since last Thursday at least it’s been every night. Sometimes I stay in bed and just think about getting back to sleep. Sometimes I get up and check my e-mail or try to work a little (and tonight I’m blogging). Sometimes I just turn on the TV. In theory I know that I should stay in bed, remain still, try not to think about what needs done or freak out about not sleeping, and then I should fall back asleep. Trying to “not think,” especially at the end of the semester, is like asking me not to breath. No, not breathing might be easier right now.

On top of all of this, however, the dogs are suffering and getting quite confused. They run to the back door when I get out of bed. Even though it’s only been an hour or two since they last went out, the act of me getting out of bed makes them think they need to go out. When I let them out ( if I let them out) they stand at the door. When they are ready to go out in the morning (at 6 or so) I’m not happy to have them dancing around beside the bed.

I hadn’t been keeping track of when this is happening or how often but after my bad weekend of sleep I figure I should. I think that the waking up is related to not only end of the semester stress but also the changing weather. There was a night this weekend (Saturday I believe) where I was really hot and to make matters worse my neighbors were having a very loud party. Hopefully after this week things will get back to normal sleep-wise though. My stress will be reduced, I’ll be more used to the weather, and the noisy undergrads will have gone home for the summer (oh please let them go home for the summer!). Until then — I’ll blog.

This school year has been crazy.  While I have blogged some, more often than not I have ignored my blog.  This semester, in fact, I have largely ignored other people’s blogs.  I was able to blame my lack of blogging in the fall on the two blogs I had to keep for other classes.  This semester I have no excuse.  I just didn’t make the time.

So, in an attempt to create a log of the past semester, some bullets (in no particular order):

• I didn’t teach this semester.  Instead I spent my assistantship hours in the writing center.  I liked being in the WC but missed teaching.  I had some “regular” students and was able to make some connection with them, but I like the connection with students more.  I’m excited to be teaching two sections of 111 again in the fall.  My experience in the WC solidified my choice of career.
• I spent a week in New Orleans for the Cs at the start of April.  I stayed in a great and quaint hotel with some classmates.  On Wednesday a group of us led a workshop and then on Thursday I presented on a panel (with people I didn’t know).  The experience was good.  I should have blogged about this before.  Perhaps after the semester ends I’ll be more reflective.
• I filled out the paperwork for my prelim committee, was assigned my fourth committee member by the graduate college, and met with the committee for approval of my reading list.  This is exciting but also incredibly stressful.
• I found out that my mom is likely getting married this summer.  This has been a big shock for me.
• I did get my new laptop and I love it! Okay, so I blogged about this already, but switching up to Apple has been a major event this semester.
• A good friend from undergrad moved away which sort of broke my heart.  I had known he was leaving for a while but as the date got closer it became harder.  Dealing with this hasn’t been fun (especially since it happened so close to the end of the semester).
• As of now I have completed two of my three final papers.  Exam week starts tomorrow and I have to finish one paper and give two presentations this week.  I am planning on evaluating portfolios tonight (since working in the writing center doesn’t get me out of portfolio evaluation).  The one paper left is started and it’s only 6-7 pages (and I actually know what I want to say which is good).  I’m ready for a break.

Reflecting on the semester it seems a lot less stressful than I actually found it.  This was one of the hardest semesters I have had in a while.  I never felt like I was able to get ahead.  Summer will be.

See what I’m doing rather than writing my final papers?

Self,

When you write prelim questions make sure that you can actually answer them or at least have an idea of what you’re asking.  It’s silly to write a question for the sake of writing a question and then not knowing what the question is really asking.   It also seems like writing a question you don’t know how to answer is impossible, but trust me, it’s not.